Real Post

Jan. 22nd, 2011 02:43 pm
oxfordtweed: (Resistance is useless! - H2G2)
I'm not feeling very well. This makes me not want to move, because when I move, it hurts and I want to be sick.

This is problematic, because being ill and being in a mood very rarely happen at the same time, so I don't want to just lie down and be a mushroom in my dark little flat. Which, as it happens, is exactly what I'm doing, since the drapes are still drawn and I can't be arsed to get up to turn on any lights. There's a small amount of ambient light coming in from the drapes, and my screen is really bright, so at least I'm not sitting in total darkness.

Give it a few hours.

I ache. I'm bored. I think I might be hungry, but I'm afraid to eat, because I'll just get sick. I know it. I don't like getting sick, because it always gets up into my sinus passages, and then I go around smelling it all day. That happened last time, when I'd sicked up all the orange squash I'd drank a few hours before. Yeah, that was fun. Only, not.

I'm meant to be doing laundry today. Someone come do it for me. I don't want to. Also, I should probably do the shopping. Again, don't want to. Instead, I've just been sitting here, endlessly refreshing the kinkmeme.

bleh.
oxfordtweed: (Default)
The Bible
On the Road, Jack Kerouac
National Geographic magazines
Newspapers
Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury
Animal Farm, George Orwell
1984, George Orwell
A Clockwork Orange, Anthony Burgess
Everything by Stephen King
Uncle Tom's Cabin, Harriet Beecher Stowe
The Torah
Adventures of Tom Sawyer, Mark Twain
Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Mark Twain
The Hitchhiker's Guide series, Douglas Adams and Eoin Colfer
To Kill a Mockingbird, Harper Lee
the entire Harry Potter series, JK Rowling
the entire Lord of the Rings series, JRR Tolkien
The God Delusion, Richard Dawkins
Comic Books (including manga)
Video Media
Recorded Media
The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time, Mark Haddon
The Qur'an
The Oddessy, Homer
The Iliad, Homer
The Great Gatsby, F Scott Fitzgerald
The Hound of the Baskervilles, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
The Hot Zone, Richard Preston




I got bored at this point, and just decided to stop. And, for those who didn't figure it out, I am of course being facetious for the purposes of proving a point. Although, I would not be surprised if some wacko has already petitioned to have every one of these banned.
oxfordtweed: (Default)
WARNING: I write fic spanning various subjects and post them in public, unfiltered forums such as here on LJ, AO3, FF.net, and several other places. Please note that some topics may be a tad touchy, and for the sake of not offending anybody, here is a list of warnings for things you can expect to find in my fics:

rape, murder, torture, major character death, minor character death, incest, no respect for personal boundaries, drugs, alcohol, profanity, indecency, pornography, graphic depictions of violent acts, verbal abuse, physical abuse, mental abuse, BDSM, dub-con, adoption issues, conception issues, words that were offensive 200 years ago but are common usage in today's vernacular, jabs at the English, jabs at Americans, jabs at the Welsh, jabs at most of Europe in fact, fluff, crack, smut, angst, uniforms, dogs, jokes that didn't work as well on paper as they had in my head, painfully unfunny puns, sodomy, slash, happily married couples that don't get violently torn apart over stupid petty fights, couples breaking up over stupid petty fights, divorce, insecurity, parents not knowing how to raise children, people doing the right things for wrong reasons, people doing wrong things for the right reasons, stereotypes, betrayal, zombies, derogatory words against zombies, brutal zombie death, badly-represented regional dialect, generally bad writing, het, children, kid!fic, pets, pet!fic, deliberate censorship, gratuitous strings of profanity, characters insulting other characters, sports injuries, cars, people driving cars, people not knowing how to drive cars, first-time!fic, slutty characters, bad characterisation, possible mary sues, RPF, fan fiction, moments of OOC, men crying, women crying, transvestites crying, children crying, pregnancy, childbirth, children getting sick, children dying, smoking, men behaving badly, women behaving badly, children behaving badly, cats, political remarks, remarks against the republican party, remarks against the democratic party, remarks against the green party, remarks against the labour party, jabs against he monster raving loony party, remarks against any other party I can't think of right now, crossovers, derogatory remarks against alien species, ignoring parts of canon, ignoring parts of extended canon, ignoring parts of "it takes place in the same universe but isn't really canon at all," including bits of extended canon, including bits of "it takes place in the same universe but isn't really canon at all," fanon, bad research, making shit up as I go along, completely bullshitting details, overly researching other details, bad grammar in dialogue, and occasional instances of "I didn't think this all the way through" -- Just to name a few.

In short, I apologise if I offend anyone, but you have been appropriately warned for any and all content contained in my fics. The opinions and views expressed in these fics do not necessarily reflect those of the author. Read at your own risk.

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oxfordtweed: (Default)
Richard Book is Innocent

November 2012

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